Adore
by Fouxia
Summary: It's the story of broken girl meets broken boy, and he changes everything for her. But not every love story has a happy ending.
1. the roof slips beneath my feet

_**This story is rated M for language, suicidal actions, self harm, drinking & drugs, possible sexual themes, and overall some kinda dark stuff. Don't say I didn't warn you. Don't like it? Don't read, simple as that.**_

I was only fifteen years old when I met a boy who changed my life. He changed every single aspect of me, every opinion, every belief. He showed me that there is life outside of the rules and boundaries I had trapped myself in. He taught me how to love. He also taught me that not every love story has a happy ending.

_**Chapter 1; Never Too Late**_

It's 1:27 am. My tennis shoe clad feet are walking around, lost, and not caring about anything. Everything is falling apart. My parents are getting divorced, I just found out KC is cheating on me, and our family, if you can even call it that, just got a letter that Darcy passed away in Kenya. Something about the house she was building wasn't sturdy enough and collapsed on her. I didn't stick around long enough to hear everything. All I knew was that I needed to get out of my house.

Truthfully, I'd rather just cease to exist. I've been depressed for a while, without any real reason why, but now I have reasons. I sit down on the side of the road and look up at the sky. "God, I really think you stopped listening," I whisper, tears finally filling my eyes. I hear a car driving down the street, sputtering and riding along without a care in the world. Without giving myself time to think, I get up, with tears staining my cheeks, and run in front of it. I know I'm screaming, I know I'm crying, I know I'm probably doing something that I shouldn't, but I don't care. I just don't care.

0o0o0o

I wake up, and it's dark everywhere I look. I can distantly see a street light, but it's being blocked by a few trees. For a brief second I'm confused as to why I'm laying outside at night, and then I remember._ I tried to kill myself._ Tears instantly start falling from my eyes again, when I hear an awkward cough from behind me. I immediately stand and start backing up. I'm about to run when the person speaks.

"You, uh, I think you jumped in front of my car. I- I stopped before I hit you, but you fainted, so I, uh, carried you over here and sat with you until you woke up," the voice says. I can't see him in the darkness, but his voice says he's a guy.

My face immediately darkens as I realize that a stranger just saved me from my own suicide. "Yeah, thanks," I mutter, and turn to walk away, hot tears blurring my vision, from both anger, sadness, and embarrassment.

"Wait!" he calls. I turn around. "At least let me give you a ride home. It's way too dangerous to be walking alone outside at night. Especially since you're a girl."

I stare at him in dismay. "And it's much safer to drive home with a stranger? Look, it was kind of you to watch me, I guess, but I'll just walk." I turn and walk into the street, when I see his car. It has to be his car, considering it's the only one out here. Even worse, it's the car I almost used to kill myself. I just can't get over the fact that I attempted suicide. I stand there, just staring at the car, when something suddenly dawns on me. "Wait, you drive a _hearse_? Are you serious?"

He walks over and stands a few feet away, a small grin on his face. "Yeah, he even has a name. Morty." He sits down on the hood of "Morty" and pats the spot next to him, obviously inviting me to sit. I look at him nervously, wondering what I'm getting myself into, but sit with him nonetheless.

"So while we're talking about names," he says, "what's yours?"

I stare up at him. "How do I know you're not some creepy stalker?"

He laughs a little. "I guess you don't. But, hey, if it's any comfort, I'll tell you my name first. I'm Eli."

I crinkle my eyebrows a little bit. He could easily be lying. I finally decide that it doesn't really matter anyway, and tell him with a shrug, "I'm Clare."

"Nice name," he responds.

"Was that sarcasm?" I ask.

"No."

"I think it was."

"I guess you'll never know."

I glare at him, and prop myself up with my elbows on the hood of his car. "So, _Eli_, why were you driving around in a hearse in the dead of night anyway?"

He gives me a weird look and says, "I think the better question would be, 'Why were you attempting suicide in the dead of night?'"

My eyes instantly tear up and I say in a somewhat choked voice, "I don't want to talk about it."

He nods. "Okay, I get it. Not my business anyway, sorry," he apologizes.

I can't help it, I'm crying now. All this has happened too fast, too fast for any fifteen year old sophomore to handle. "Eli?" I manage to say.

"Yeah?"

"Will you drive me home?" I know it's a risky move, considering I barely know him, but at this point I don't even have enough strength to think, much less walk.

He hops off of Morty and helps me down. "Yeah, come on," he says, and he drives me straight home, neither of us saying much.

_**A/N: Okay, first chapter! What do you think? I wanted to do a fic where Eli and Clare are BOTH messed up. And yes, Eli will have his share of problems in this fic too. So, what will happen after this? Will they become total best friends? Will Eli stalk Clare? Will they never speak again? Of course not, that would make this story pointless! Review! xoxo**_


	2. i swore i'd never fall again

**A/N: I feel the need to go ahead and address this: Clare is 15 and will be going into 10****th**** grade. Eli is 16 and will be going into 11****th**** grade, just like the show. But they're on summer break right now. Also, before I get any hate, I know that Clare is OOC. This is an AU fic. If you don't like it then DON'T READ IT!**

Two days after my little "incident", there was a knock at the door. Expecting it to be another annoying person from church, I ignored it and continued watching television.

"Helen, answer the door!" my dad yelled.

"Why don't you get it?" my mother yelled back.

"Fine, I will!" My dad got up from the kitchen table, where I can assume he was signing divorce papers, and walked over to the door. Murmuring under his breathe about my mother, he answered the door. I turned around to see who was there, and to my extreme shock, it was Eli.

"Who are you?" my father asked. Way to be polite, dad.

Eli coughed awkwardly. "Um, hi, I'm Eli," he paused. "Goldsworthy. Eli Goldsworthy. Uh, is there a Clare here?"

My father eyed him up and down. "Yes, can I ask why you want to know?"

"I was wondering if she could come out and talk to me," responded Eli.

My father's eyes wondered over to me. "Clare, do you know this boy?"

My eyes were wide open from the entire situation, but I just nodded, a little stunned. "Yeah. I do."

My dad looked back and forth between me and Eli, obviously trying to tell if we were going to actually talk, or if he was going to "corrupt" me behind the flower pot. Which would never happen. He sighed. "Fine, don't take too long."

I got up from the couch and hurried to the door, closing it gently behind me. "Eli? What the hell are you doing here? I figured I'd never see you again, I mean, it's nice to see you and stuff, but uh, yeah, I figured that the night you dropped me off that it would just be a one time thing and we'd pretend we'd never even met each other, but I mean, it's still…"

"Clare! You're talking ninety miles an hour! Chill!" Eli said.

I took a deep breathe. "Sorry, I guess it's just a little surprising to see the dude, who, basically saved my life just randomly showing up at my door."

"Yeah, sorry. I just came to see how you are," he responded softly.

My eyes shifted to look at my feet, and my fingers were tugging at the sleeves of my sweater. "Me? Oh, I'm fine. That night really, uh, changed my perspective on, uh, life." I glanced up at him, attempting a smile.

He narrowed his eyes at me. "I don't know you very well, but I can definitely tell when someone is lying."

My cheeks turned red. "Oh, uh…" my voice trailed off. I wasn't even sure how to respond to that.

He shook his. "Sorry, sorry. I should probably learn to be less blunt."

I shrugged. "It's okay."

I shifted my gaze to look directly at him, and realized he was studying me, almost staring. Feeling weird under his gaze, I timidly asked, "What exactly are you looking at?"

He smiled a little. "Nothing, you just have pretty eyes."

My cheeks flushed. "Thanks. I'll, uh, see you around?"

He smiled. "Actually, do you wanna go do something right now? We can just hang out, get to know each other a little better."

My mouth opened a little bit in shock. He was asking me to hang out? _Me_, of all people? I was a negative, boring, and depressed person. "Um, sure. But, I can't guarantee that they'll let me," I said, angling my thumb at the door, to imply that my parents might not like the idea.

He grinned. "Well, can't hurt to ask, right?"

I nodded, unsure of the entire situation. "Yeah, uh, be right back," I said, and walked back into my house. I found my dad and said, "Hey, um, Eli wants to know if me and him can go hang out."

It didn't take him two seconds to think before he said, "No. The kid, quite frankly, looks sketchy and plus I don't even know him."

My mom walked into the room then, and said in an irritable tone, "Oh Randall, just let her. She deserves to go out, and we can trust her. Besides, we have some_ things _to talk about," she said, glaring at him. By "things" she obviously meant they were talking about the divorce.

My dad sighed in defeat. "Fine. Clare, we trust you, don't do anything to ruin that," he said.

I nodded. "I won't." I went upstairs and slid on a pair of flip flops, then left the house before I had to listen to them yell at each other.

"So," I said, walking down the steps with Eli, "Where are we going?"

Eli shrugged. "I was thinking the park. It's nice there."

I smiled a little. "Okay. Um, are we taking the hearse?"

Eli looked at me in mock hurt. "He has a name, you know. I think we already went over this."

I rolled my eyes. "Right, sorry. I meant to say, are we taking _Morty_?"

He grinned. "Yes, we are. Come on." We walked down the sidewalk to Morty and he opened the door for me. I smirked at him.

"What a gentleman," I teased.

"Shut up," he mocked, going around to his side of the car and starting the ignition.

Soon enough we arrived at the park, and I closed my eyes and smiled a little. The air was really warm and "happy". It was nice.

"Come on," said Eli, walking around to the more shaded area of the park, and sitting down on the grass. I followed behind and sat beside him, keeping my distance because I didn't want to seem clingy or weird.

Eli smiled and said, "Why do you always look so damn on edge?"

I looked at him weirdly. "I didn't know that I did."

"You do. You look like you're afraid of… life. Like you're afraid of being yourself."

I shrugged. "I guess life just got to me."

He looked at me, with real concern on his face. "That's never good to hear."

"Whatever, though. I deal with it," I said, twisting a piece of grass around my finger.

"Can I ask you something?" Eli said, completely changing the subject.

"Um, yeah, sure," I said, surprised by the random question.

"Why are you wearing long sleeves in the summer?" he asked softly.

I turned my face completely away from him. Of course, the one question people always end up asking. Dropping the grass from my fingers, I'd timidly faced him and said, "I, I'm, really, uh, cold natured. I pretty much always wear long sleeves."

"Clare…" he trailed off.

"What?" I said. I knew he knew, but I wasn't going to give in and say it.

"Honestly tell me why you're wearing long sleeves."

Tears my filled my eyes. I hated this. I hated talking about it. I said in a choked voice, "I think you can figure out why."

He nodded. "Hey, Clare. Don't cry. I'm not going to judge you."

I shook my head, crying more. "Why not? Just go right damn ahead. Everyone else judges me. They call me a freak, they call me emo, they call me weird. Just go right ahead."

"I'm not going to judge you, ever, Clare. I promise. I think you're a really good person, even if I don't know you very well, and I'd like to be someone you can trust."

I nodded. "Thank you, Eli."

"No problem."

I wiped my eyes, and took a deep breathe, trying to regain my composure. "So your last name is Goldsworthy, huh? What are you, Jewish?" I asked.

Eli laughed. "No, actually, I'm an atheist. And before you ask, no I don't worship the devil or have a basement where I keep my human sacrifices."

I giggled. "I didn't think that."

"Oh, sorry. People just are quick to assume that sometimes. So, I can assume your Christian?" he asked, nodding towards the silver cross around my neck.

I twisted the chain around my finger and shrugged. "I guess."

He raised an eyebrow. "You guess?"

"I question whether there's even a God sometimes."

He grinned in mock wickedness. "Well, can I persuade you to join the Dark side?" he said in a pretend scary voice.

I laughed a little, and said half-joking, "I'm starting to wonder if I'd be better off not believing in anything."

"Well, anytime you're ready to ditch your faith, I can initiate you into atheism," he said.

"Wait, there's an initiation?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. That sounded kind of weird.

He laughed. "I'm kidding, Clare!"

I smacked his arm. "You suck."

"Ouch!" he said, feigning hurt as he laid back on the grass. I laid down beside him and we just stared at the sky for a few minutes.

Finally I sighed and said happily, "Eli, hmm, is that short for Elijah?"

"Yep," he answered.

"Well, Elijah Goldsworthy, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship."

**A/N: Sorry, this was a little bit of a filler chapter. I don't want this story to get boring but at the same time I don't want to rush into anything. I want them to get to know each other. Next chapter I'm thinking that instead of Eli discovering some of Clare's secrets, Clare will discover some of Eli's secrets. And then I'm hoping after that to get some romance started. Stay with me, okay? Don't get bored and leave! **

**Also, I'd like to say that I'm going to write whether I get reviews or not, just because I fucking love writing, but it IS really, really nice to get reviews, even if it's just something simple like "I like it!" It makes me feel like my hard work is worth it. Okay, see you guys later!**


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